March 2009
1 post
Uhff
God I want a fucking laptop.
GUESS WHERE I AMMMM.
NOT IN CLASS.
WOW I AM A GREAT PERSON
Can’t even keep up going to a fucking community college, awesome. And you know what? I wouldn’t give a shit except that I need to go to get money from my dad. I have never wanted a time machine more in my life.
I haven’t showered since Saturday. Why is my ear so cold.
Oh, ‘cause...
February 2009
25 posts
Rimshot
Red: Hey, Blue.
Blue: Yeah, Red?
Red: Did you bring everything for the camping trip?
Blue: Sure did.
Red: Lanterns?
Blue: Yup.
Red: First-aid kit?
Blue: Yup.
Red: Sunblock, swimsuits, fishing lures?
Blue: Yup, yup, yup.
Red: The butfor?
Blue: ...What's the butfor?
Red: For POOPING YOU JACKASS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA.
Blue: Oh, fuck you.
stimulus
the lament that stirs my gut
that wrenches my core
that brings my eyes to water
is the freedom to feel
that lifts my soul
Atlas (finished)
You know, it’s ironic that I feel like there’s so much pressure on me, but in truth I have nothing I have to do. As I was saying earlier, the fact that I don’t have anything to complain about frustrates me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being a big brat; life is good, but I don’t care about it? Illogical! I keep fluttering between “I don’t have depression, I...
The Seduction Continues
Will he EVER get the point? Probably not.
Sunday:
Him: "Good morning elise. i didnt no you had a boyfriend my bad."
Him: "Are u going to school on tuesday elise"
Me: "Yes, I will be there tomorrow."
Him: "I wont be there tomorrow I will be there on wednesday."
Him: "I will see you on wednesday at school." (why the fuck do I care, and I also don't go to that class except on Tuesdays and Thursdays.)
And then today:
Him: "Elise what are you doing later."
Me: "Babysitting until about eight." (LIES)
Him: "Can i come over sometime soon" (FUUUUCK NO! Invitin' yourself and shit, PFT)
Me: "Sorry, I'm busy for this week. Babysitting, schoolwork, and my only personal night I'm already going out with Monte on." (I am using my dad's dog's name as my fictional boyfriend, luls)
Him: "Yup text you later" (wut)
Him: "When can it be my turn to spend sometime with you when you done." (I AM NOT A TOY YOU DON'T TAKE TURNS WITH ME)
Him: "Do you wanna spend time with me one day" (this is getting pathetic)
I will not respond to him. Also? I am sick of having sympathy friendships with people. I will be polite, but am NOT going to extend myself further than basic social niceties.
Yes Indeedy
Ahhhfff, I love that I spend most of my time at home sleeping. Productivity? What’s that?
We had breakfast for dinner tonight. I like it, no problem, but I don’t like scrambled eggs hwaaarrr. D: GOD DAMN THAT YOMI, I’m going to have to show up at her place one day and just be like FUCK YOU YOU’RE AWESOME.
Apparently the poor thing’s been consoling a girl she...
Slackin'
Mrm, I’m feelin’ pretty crappy about how lethargic I’m getting with my schoolwork. I failed to turn in my time sheet for the second week in a row, but that’s not horrible to anyone except myself. See, in newspaper production, the only time I really feel badly is if I don’t do something and it affects the paper or the other students. I’M A NICE PERSON NOT...
Rain Breeds Lethargy
Mrm. Don’t wanna’ go to classes today. Already late to Geology; She doesn’t take roll, so fuck it. Only reason I sort of wish I would go is to see what I got on my test.
I’ll get it later, whatever. So now I’m just sitting in my car, listening to my iPod through the stereo. I could sit like this forever, I tell you. BUT, today I also have my newspaper classes, and...
“My penis got turned into a smiley!”
– Me, after 8====D got switched to 8=== :D in Google Chat with the Asian.
WHO ELSE IS EXCITED →
LOOK. LOOOOOK IT’S TRUE THE MOVIE. HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
God I still need to use the bathroom.
Obsessions are dangerous things with me.
But then again, anytime something makes me feel like I even have a soul, I cling to it until it dries up and then realize in despair that there is nothing left to save me.
…o lol
ATTN PLZ
In case my posts thus far have not made it clear, I flitter between shame and pride. Right now, I’m feeling neither, and so am supplying links and comments to things that will make me look like a horny, stupid, desperately lonely bitch.
Which I am.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to use the restroom.
And also finish those sketches for my newspaper class and then draw some Naruto...
Romance
I received a very disturbing series of texts today from a classmate in my newspaper production class. He called earlier asking if he could call me later to ask questions about his schoolwork.
...Why didn't he just ask me?
Seriously. This guy doesn't even know how to use Word. I'm not even kidding, it was painful.
Him: "I will call you as soon i be ready for you, elise."
Me: "Alrighty, sounds good."
Him: "Yup. Don't u got a camera phone, because i do i just need help using it can u please help me i surrender."
Me: "Yes, I do. Do you know how to get to the camera function on yours?"
Him: "Yes i do i will send you a picture of me with my shirt off you will like it ok elise."
Me: "Uhhhh, wait, what? My phone can't accept pictures in text messages."
Him: "I didnt no that is it still good to help me with my work at school."
Me: "I'm sorry, I'm getting pretty confused. You're going to send me a shirtless picture of youself to test your camera?"
Him: "No i was just seeing if my phone was working."
Me: "Well alrighty then."
Him: "When its good to out to oakland to meet with you elise"
Me: "Well honestly, I'm going to be away from my house until late Monday night. So we might as well meet face-to-face in class."
Him: "Ok maybe next time i can come over ya place like when you be there i will keep you company."
Me: "Mrm, that's nice of you, but I really do work better alone, and frankly between work and school I never know when is a good time for company."
Him: "Thats good you got me wide open ready to exhale."
Me: "...I'm going to be honest and say I'm feeling uncomfortable right now."
Him: "Just conversation elise."
Me: "Okay then."
Him: "I will need our help with my school work and with you."
Me: "I will help you with your schoolwork, sure."
Him: "Is everything ok is anyone with you right now."
Me: "...my family?"
Him: "Yes i do i will send you a picture of me with my shirt off you will like it ok elise."
Me: "[name], I don't know why you sent me the same message, but I am not interested in you that way; I'm already in a relationship. Do you have a question about your schoolwork?"
Him: "I see you at school than elise theres no school monday so i see you wednesday than."
Me: "Alright, sounds fine."
...what just happened.
“March of the Scaffold” - Berlioz
...
Sadly, A FurAffinity. →
You know what? I don’t give a fuck.
Lulzy site for lulzy images. Lulzy as in what the Hell was I thinking. I blame that Canadian for putting naughty ideas in my brain. Why am I linking you guys (whoever you may be) to my bastard-child site where I will soon regret giving anyone the ability to ability to attribute the horrible things so far posted on there to me?
Because I need the...
“You’re gonna’ love my nuts!”
– http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs
Woll Smoth has a dinner party
Between my brother and I this afternoon while we were insanely bored at our dad's and resorted to texting each other from across the room:
Me: "I want a Crunch bar
Or Kit Kats
Some lobstah shuggemup
MOHZZERELLAHS SHIGGEMUPEMS.
Dem ohwls dey gos da hoots hoots"
Ian: (After trying to convince my father to get cable) "He aint listened tos a gos daineded word i talked."
Me: "I rights hea yas ondays boy tellya wuts"
Ian: "Ya hear?"
Me: "Heydiddluho neyborh feels lik um wurrin nothin at ahl
Woll smoth
Woll smoth in Hancook"
Ian: "Dad ghn and damnedit blowith his stockspile inta kristans underblowsith"
Me: "Elohrells
Ah sel prohpahn un prohahm cessorees
Dasdahway yah liks it
Nas boysa nigra
Nigras tuk ur jahbs"
Ian: "Hees no clue we mouthet inbiut his dug fukchitj exgoose fors a hife"
Me: "Dem n dur furmitiv axuons"
Ian: "????????"
Me: "Elohrellwut
Is like a goose bud isa excyoos"
Ian: "Hes got no clue were bad mouthin them"
Me: "Elohrell
Diggiuggnfergumall
Donchabakassinmeshussemup"
Ian: "Is like diggiuggnergumall but mores literate"
Me: "DAssa rite funcy werd thur wif fem litirate
Nao skeetur he aint hertin nosbody
Souf parks"
(At this point, my dad asks us which of us wants to cook dinner)
Me: "Cookyer owhn dinurr songbitches"
Ian: "rats uh tivity of duh day tuh keap uss happy like? Makin dinur!"
Me: "We boahd az hel annin dey wansfer us tew kewks dem fud
Fat taterfolks"
(My dad's messing around with the smoke detectors, Kristin [my stepmom] is thanking him for fixing them)
Me: "Thahnx agenn hunny damnb smoak tectorz
Foanektical likes"
(My dad has also been working on cleaning their shower doors)
Ian: "Fud? Fud? Dam tatertotfolks morlik. Thay shuld bee wntin dirte mirrirs so theys cnts sea dare damneded saggylike asses."
Me: "Ellohrell fel like um werin nuthn atall
Oh ellerrell"
Ian: "Pacololpaco"
(Ian is petting their dog Monte, who is gritting his teeth)
Me: "Dat dahgs gutsim sum big teefs"
(Referring back to the smoke detectors which are now beeping randomly)
Ian: "Durn smuk duhtecturs makin pa reel sad lime"
(Monte gets up and moves under a table)
Me: "Hes agunna pewps ritethur en demdars tabbul
Sad limes shuggemup"
Ian: "I fupawedercreampieintadahdingleberry"
(My dad asks us if we wants pasta or soup with the chicken for dinner)
Me: "Pahstah er sup wid chikkens
Shewpderwewp"
(My dad gets irritated that we don't answer his question; "I'm asking you guys a question!")
Me: "Ehmaskin yew nigras uh kweschun"
Ian: "Dang i tried askun im a cuestion and he darned even responds"
Me: "Yepyep dat mans dun nor nutten bout hwo ta acts"
(I overhear Kristin saying to Dad that her mother had a dinner party once)
Me: "Maih mah has her uh dinra pahtee wun tyme"
Ian: "(-_*)"
Me: "8============D
Elorhell a bigguns"
Ian: "Leme chows uh whater loaks likes" (wut)
Me: "Buddernutt skwashg"
(Ian flips off Kristin behind her back because he's awesome like that and enjoys living dangerously. Yes.)
Me: "elorhril yee givd hur datdur burdee"
Ian: "Krisnob guttan offed byur sudurns cents"
Me: "SUDERNSCENTSWITPAWLADEENS"
Ian: "That is correct"
Me: "PAWLADEENS LAIKS HERDUH MAYONAZe"
Ian: "I meen dats corrraxct durnit"
Me: "Usa taterfolk
Jon freemangs u gawt hur slo n now ajihm zumbee goast"
Ian: "No lols fur dat. Datun hurrt mi feeinlhgs"
(Ian tries to fall asleep on the couch)
Me: "Its da snuggee"
Ian: "Goobye"
Me: "Nigrafolk ander werds wit suchnsooch
Anchoahveez"
(Ian says he's bored as Hell and wants to go home as Dad and Kristin bitch like snobs about a guitarist at a Mexican restaurant the night before whose guitar was out of tune)
Me: "Nowhadyersayyin yup We cud be at hom wanken it awf steada lisnin tew demtaterfolk bichn bawt messican geeturosts
Avvurl laveens"
Ian: "I did not, just gun did jizz in mu sMich"
Me: "Elorhell sammich
Deys hsuroiejiorejoosgvs Fuck this, I'm so bored I would prefer shitting whole granola bits than listen to their social observations. WAITIN FER THEMS TO BRING UP MISSA BOOSH (Dad and Kristin always talk shit about Bush. I hate him, too, but come on.)
Ellerehl messikens
I would like to plow you
Fapfapfapfap
Obojobishoyoyoyoyoshojoyooooo"
Ian: "Right atr dinner we bailin"
Me: "If I were a dude I'd totally buy a penis pump
Just be like, YEAAAAHH CHECK DIS SHIT OUT
-Fourincheselohrel-"
And there you have it.
My DeviantART →
There’s stuff on here. Stuff I doodle. Yeah, I’m on DA, WANNA’ FIGHT ABOUT IT?
Yup
So, yeah. This is my first post on Tumblr. My friend was freaking out about the site so finally I’m like, “Yes. I’ll join.”
Murrrr.
Also, I think the user name works for me ‘cause an anorak is someone who’s obsessed with trivial/boring things (yes). YES DAMNIT.